As a little boy i was hurt by a older women forced to have when i was 7?

i was a little boy i was hurt by a woman that was a baby sitter when i was age 5 to 7 i was beaten and made to have with her to this day i have dream it about i am talking to a consular about it i have a mistrust for older women all my life i am 34 now i was told by my mom as a kid to forget about nothing would ever be down i know men do this type of thing all the time they should be shot but do women do this to or was i just a fluke are there more guys like me i had to make a new sn because i am to embraced about it